Having a bad Monday?
Just have a horrible conversation with a member of your family/boss/friend/that dude who only wants to be friends/ your incredibly lucky boyfriend?
Did you think you were a rock star in the interview and deserve something to pat yourself on the back?
Did you forget about that awkward silence in your rock star interview when you were asked about your experience and you started listing off your favorite television shows?
Remembering that, did you just realize that you were not a rock star and you will definitely not get the job?
In a miraculous turn of events, did you actually get the job?
Are you just angry and you don’t know who to turn to without coming off as a crazy bitch?
Is your heart aching so hard that you can’t eat?
Are you hangry?
Were you stabbed in the back?
Are you just having “one of those goddamn horrible days”?
Do you feel content and happy with your life but really just want something to satisfy your sweet tooth?
The answer is easy. Just eat some red velvet cake. For a moment, all of the noise in your brain will shut up. Promise.