:The Magic Sentence:


“I’m moving.”

It’s true. If you never want to see someone again, just tell them you are skipping town. For me, this actually works. For you, well, you might want to go to hang out at a different local dive next time.

Now, if you asked me, “Elaine, why did you go out with him if you only have a month-ish left here?”, my response would be “Fuck if I know, for the free mozzarella sticks and vodka?”.

It certainly wasn’t because I wanted to listen to him go on and on about his acting career and how he dedicates 20 minutes a day to just looking at himself in the mirror. Snooze. Can I get the hummus trio, please?


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