It seems at least
a few times once a year, I look at my roster.
(As a very young kid, I totally thought when people were saying “roster”, they really meant “rooster”. Obviously that was the one time in my whole 27 years of existence that I have been wrong. Ever.)
Anyway, I have learned that looking at my roster has meant looking back, and if they has been anything I have been trying to teach myself these past few months, it has been to keep looking forward and never dwell on what could have been.
Even still, I find myself feeling like a pathetic, lovelorn loser on Sunday morning when I realize I have texted a certain roster boy about a new recipe I heard about that reminded me of him. Even writing down that I did that makes me feel like Mary Katherine Gallagher. In one text, I felt like that uniformed 1st grader on the basketball court that everyone was making fun of. I felt like the pig tailed blonde girl that discovered there was a worm in her hair at the very serious school assembly.
What do I think now? Time for a new life roster.